this is how it happens
this is how it happens.
it goes quietly,
you can hardly hear it
over the gentle hiss
of the tea kettle on the stove
and then it’s
a roar in your head
screaming through veins
a hand grenade
exploding in your stomach
the shrapnel, finger-painting
your heart against the wall
it’s morning outside
when the sky splits open
to the east, tiny lights and
lives, bobbing in and out of
focus, along the horizon
to the west, each star a
flame, angry at the prison
of a deep blue sky
back in the kitchen
the kettle is furious
back in the kitchen,
I say yes.
I don’t need smoke signals; I know I’m in love
We’d drag a cooler, speakers,
up the hill behind your house
our friends laughing like they knew
secrets that we hadn’t yet figured out
We’d sit in lawn chairs, in the damp grass
Tom Petty mixing in with the forest sounds
the smoke from the campfire
curling out to meet the humid air
the smoldering ashes floating up
to kiss the hot summer night sky
the glow from the fire as it hit our faces.
The air was hot, the fire was hot
but when I looked at you I’d swear
all that heat came from somewhere inside me.
YOU'RE FINALLY BACK OMG IVE MISSED YOUR WORK IVE LITERALLY CHECKED YOUR BLOG EVERY DAY WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK
HI WOW THANK YOU! Sorry I write so sporadically though, life gets in the way a lot.. :/ But seriously, I love receiving these kinds of messages, it’s such a nice feeling! Too sweet, anon.
Also! In response to the other anon messages I have in my inbox asking me to write things: I swear I try to write your prompts! It’s just my writing is always feelings I pull out of myself and it’s actually very hard for me to find the right words for other people. I really wish I could do your stories and feelings justice but I always feel like I’m failing. I DO READ THEM THO, DON’T THINK I’M IGNORING YOU! I want to write beautiful things for you guys I just feel like I will be disappointing you!
#hey guys i'm back hi
Do you remember that time we stood
underneath gray trees with their skeleton hands
reaching up towards a gray summer sky
how the rain fell down in streamers
And kissed rivers into our skin?
Did you know that at that exact moment
the earth was moving at 67,602 miles per hour
in relation to the invisible sun?
Do you think that maybe we were fools
for thinking that anything could ever stand still?
Do you remember the heat of your hand
on the small of my back?
Do you remember how everything grew
softer and louder at the same time?
How the world cried around us,
how the stream ran, anxious in it’s bed?
How our toes sunk deep into the damp sand,
how everything around us was dead,
and yet the rain wouldn’t end?
Sorry I haven’t posted much lately but I’m traveling through India and there isn’t wifi in most places. I’ll try and get some stuff up as soon as I’m back home!
I don't know if you do this but if you do, please could you write about falling in love with someone but being scared you'll fuck it up even though you feel like he could be "the one", also I absolutely adore your writing, I come here everyday without fail, so thank you x
hey, so I’ve been staring at this for ages and I really would like to write something for you but I haven’t quite found the words yet. but I am turning this idea over in my mind!
I think it’s a good thing you’re scared though; that means you’re conscious of your actions. my fatal flaw is that I tend to get caught up in myself and can be a bit selfish. just don’t take your partner for granted, and if you love each other you’ll be able to forgive the big and the small things knowing they weren’t done maliciously or carelessly.
also thank you for the wonderful compliments! much appreciated!
Sweet Summer Sixteen
We are young. So naïve that we kiss like movie stars
whose goal is to break each other’s hearts. Our lives
are dictated by summer jobs and curfews and
when we touch all I can smell is fresh cut grass.
I see lighting bugs even when I close my eyes.
We eat cherry tomatoes like they’re going out of style
a first summer together could easily be the last one.
We are so young we think that we are old;
most people that we know have been married
longer than we’ve been alive.
You give me the same feelings I get
when I look at the stars and know that
they burned out hundreds of millions of years ago.
you are my favourite writer on tumblr. i always come back to your blog to read your work, just, wow you really inspire me.
hey, this is from forever ago and I totally did not respond in a timely fashion at all and I’m sorry because this is a lovely message and you are a lovely person for sending me this. if you are still following me I hope you see this and know your kind words are greatly appreciated!
anyway, now that I’ve remembered that my inbox exists if anyone does inbox me I’ll try not to take ages to reply.
much love xx
The good guy dies in this poem
I am waiting for other people’s relationships to fall apart
I’m in that stage where I like watching trains wreck
I am not good right now I am not okay
I am not nice
I smile at my friends in love and think that
you haven’t loved until you’ve ripped every organ out of your chest
what is this easy love, what is this pretty love?
why does my love feel like a hand grenade went off in my stomach?
I am a detective failing at finding a clue
while people are dying of suspense
waiting for you to fall out of love with me.
we are just another casualty
and love is collateral damage.
i’m sorry i’m crazy i still think i’m going to grow old with you i still think i’m going to marry you
i’m sorry i broke up with you i’m sorry i’m sorry i still love you
i am too sad to cry and too hungry to eat i am i am i am still in love with you
i can’t do anything i stare at everything and everything stares back
and i do nothing for most of the day and i don’t know where the time goes
sometimes it is just too hard to move sometimes it is just too hard to lose someone like you to do something like this
sometimes i pretend to be asleep for hours and really i just can’t move
i’m sorry i love you i love you i’m in love with you
i tell everyone now they look at me like they’re in pain but
i love you i want to marry you i want to grow old with you
i want everyone to know that this is pain that this is death while living
that i am always going to be in love with you
I watched my family go shopping in a dead man’s closet last night. Watched my grandfather’s cardigans run through my grandmother’s hands like water and form lumpy knit pools on the bed. I thought of his ratty old polo shirt, cold barrel of a gun pressed square into his chest, and how that bullet tore through his clothes just before his heart and then ours.
They always tell you that life, like love, is fragile. And you think you know and you think you understand. And then one morning you walk through the park with your boyfriend and notice the smallest of flowers and you hear children laughing and you think the day couldn’t be any more perfect. Then you go home, you hear your father shouting upstairs. You hear the sheer panic in his voice. You hear the phone clatter to the floor. In moments you’re in the car on strange roads to a strange hospital and an empty parking lot and he’s saying “we lost him” as if he had been misplaced or stolen in a crowd and really, he’s dead. And your mother is saying “fuck” and “how dare he” and your father is broken. And you know that life really is nothing like what it seems.
is there a pretty way to say
‘i know i’ve broken your heart in the most shameless way possible
but i never stopped being in love with you
please give me the chance to not break your heart again?’
It’s snowing when I leave my house and
It’s a long walk to the bus stop but
I do not double-check my bag for my tickets
It doesn’t matter if they are there or not
Home is where the heart is and
I am no longer with you
There is nothing beautiful about heartbreak.
There is nothing beautiful about making
the biggest mistake of your life. There are
just puffy cheeks, red eyes, too many nights
of watching the sun set and then rise again
without leaving your bed. Leaving you was
the biggest mistake I’ve made, and I’ve made
a lot. I forgot this was real life; love is not a game.
I was a foolish child playing with feelings
and loves that I didn’t understand.
I don’t want the upper hand anymore
These are my cards laid out on the table:
A queen of hearts, seven of spades,
jack of diamonds with a torn off corner
I have nothing unless you want them
If you must know, this is how it’s always been.
I am terrified of forever but I have realized
the only thing more terrifying than forever
is forever without you.